To those who have lost someone…

Whether you have lost someone in the distant past or recently, I encourage you to have an eternal perspective. Yeah, yeah, I know you have been told this before… “Look at the positive side�… “They are in a better place�… “They aren’t hurting anymore�…�They lived a wonderful life�… “They are sitting at the feet of the father�… yes, these are all good and true but I wanted more…I needed more…I wanted to see the purpose of a sovereign God. How could there be more blessing in death than in life?

One year and three months have passed since my father died of cancer. The other day one of my best friends asked me how I was doing. “I see him everywhere�….I said, especially around this time. I see him hanging lights, putting up the nativity scene, saying the Christmas prayer, surprising us all with a big family gift. My friend nodded his head, knowing that there is no way he can understand.

How about with God…how are you with God?

(I thought about saying the usual response… good, I need to read the bible more, but He and I are pretty good. Just to get the conversation over.)

“The best way to describe it…I feel like we are sitting in a cold, quiet place, me and God and I am just staring blankly at him. And he back at me. Saying nothing…hearing nothing…He knows I am exhausted spiritually. He knows the up and down struggle of cancer and the prayers and the hours of reading the bible it took to find comfort and hope. He knows I am empty.� And I feel that He is ok with that.

Maybe that is you as well. It’s ok that we don’t understand death…it’s ok that we question God, as long as we have a deep understanding of the big perspective. Or at least be able to imagine it. You know, the bigger purpose, the larger plan behind this paradox of life. We don’t have the tools in our brain to comprehend Him… I mean our physical senses can only pick up 15% of reality around us, let alone our Creator. BUT…He gave us an imagination that can reach higher than reality.

Using this imagination… God has given me comfort. Hopefully, this picture will help you through your grief as well. Bare with me, it is a little out there, but don’t judge me, He gave us an imagination for a reason!

Right after I lost my father, I questioned God and was truly angry at him. How could he rob me of my father at age 25? I have so much left to learn, I have so much left to share with him. These are the years, the years that we would grow close. The years he would benefit from the unconditional love he gave me through my prodigal ways. This is supposed to be our feast. The days he could enjoy my kids and we could laugh about the old days when I was just a boy.

Just as my anger grew, God swept me up. Literally, he answered all of my questions in one picture. He picked me up out of this world, and put me on his knee. It was like I was a young boy all over again. I sat on the knees of the creator and He pointed towards the world. It was like I had “google earth� vision. As we zoomed in on the Midwest states that were filled with red dots all surrounding one black dot. They were all connected. I whispered to him “what are all those dots� He responded in a deep God like tone, “the black dot in the middle is your father’s body�. “And the red dots� I said? “They are the people that his death touched, these are the people that saw his faith through trial, and your family’s faith after he died. Each one of them turned to me. Some were Christians and renewed their faith, others spoke to me for the first time. “There must be hundreds of them� I said. “Now do you see?�, He said. Your father’s death, which is only a mortal death, saved so many of my children. That was the purpose. That was the reason. And it doesn’t stop there. It will inspire others, like yourself to be warriors for me with a strength you could have never imagined before his death.

As he put me down, the burden was lifted and I was granted a piece of understanding. It’s not perfect and it still hurts and there are still tragedies in this world I can’t understand and honestly have a hard time believing that God is involved with. However, I notice the ripple effect all around me, and the people that have their lives changed by the death of someone they are close to.

Yes, I realize it is a crazy illustration and no I wasn’t on any drugs while this mental picture occurred. But still, I encourage you to remember it, try to zoom out to his perspective. Look at the big picture, no matter what it takes to help you understand. The world and his plan are bigger than you and I. Larger than the hurt of your family and the consequences of the tragedy you are in.

It is ok to be quiet with Him. He understands and will gaze at you with love and He will wait patiently for you to interact with Him. He will hold you and you don’t have to do a thing, not one. And as your understanding grows and your faith actually becomes stronger through this tragedy, you will be a ripple of His love.

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