Perhaps the greatest challenge facing any man to decide to become a stay at home father is family finances. Modern marriages often require the income from two sources, so it would seem. Many financial burdens stem from choices or personal preferences regarding possessions such as homes, or cars, or professions- holding on to the job because it is familiar or because it is "required", or because there is "nothing else out there". I am not claiming those choices are wrong or foolish, merely stating the significance of choice. I chose to become a stay at home father when our family was struggling financially.

Our financial difficulties were the results of choices we had made, with honest intentions. However, we painfully realized we had little control over circumstances that would have a dramatic impact on our situation. We were both working full time, and then some, on separate shifts. However, we still required to have our four children in day care so that we could work. When the kids became ill, I took off, since it was easier and quickly used up sick leave and vacation time in the increments of illnesses, thus incurring leave without pay. Our finances were not improved through our efforts, further stressing us. The kids were getting frazzled leftovers of our harried selves. I
eventually realized there was no point in continuing this madness, especially if I was to build the family of my dreams.

The Promise

I was at the point of my spiritual life where I was ready for God to take control. Finally, after almost two years of constant struggle, I came to terms with the awareness He did not desire this for me or my family. This manifested itself in a frightening way. Because of our schedules, I picked the kids up at day care after work while my wife worked the evenings. I am a peaceful man by nature, but I experienced a rather rough day at the school I worked. The behavior of my kids compounded matters, particularly my three year old son, whom I was bathing. I snapped, grabbing my son and virtually drooping him in the towels. I began slamming the walls of the shower stall, then stormed out of the room, shoving my 1 year old daughter to the floor. I reached for her pacifier and threw it at her. I paced the living room for about 7 minutes, leaving my son naked in the bathroom. I finally calmed enough to throw his pajamas at him to get dressed. I carried the baby to my bedroom and held her as I wept. When my son dressed, I did the same with him. I promised them I would not ever do that again. Something had to give. I searched the Word and found some of God's promises to His children. He promises that all things work out for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28.) Those who love Him, seek Him relentlessly. Jesus also said "Look at the birds of the air. They neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Who of you, by worrying, can add a single hour to his life?" (Matthew 6:26-27) I realized in our pursuit to make money, we had forgotten why we started this family. We'd forgotten the promise that God would meet our every need.

The Purpose

I wanted to follow Christ with all my heart and raise my family up with me. I had no clue how I was going to provide for my family despite my convictions. I knew God would not lead me in this direction if He were not giving me a path upon which to put my feet. I began looking at writing venues and home based businesses and jobs from home. I received nearly 100 offers. I knew that no matter what I did, I needed to keep God at the center. The purpose was not to make money. The purpose was to find a source of income that was in alignment with the plans God had in store for me. Aiding me in this was the passage of Psalm127: "Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain..... in vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat-- for he grants sleep to those He loves." My purpose was not necessarily to bring home a paycheck so my kids could enjoy the finer things in life. My purpose was to make God the center of every aspect of our family and raise my children to learn to love the Lord. God would provide for us. At the time I began writing this series, I had not received a paycheck for 4 weeks. We're still struggling, but my kids have never missed a meal, nor have they gone without heat, nor without gas in the van. God has been faithful and always provided.

The Prize

Psalm 127: 3 says "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him", but only to those who choose to allow the Lord to build the home. Before I decided to focus on the Lord and allow Him to build my family and call the shots in my life, my kids were not a blessing to me. I had begun to resent their inquisitive innocence and wave off their declarations of affection. I became easily frustrated and easily forgetful. Since I have decided to stay at home, I embraced their childish virtues and allowed them to improve upon me as I instructed them and guided them into knowledge of their Savior. They have dramatically changed in front of my eyes into such gentle and wonderful beings which I was previously hindered to see. Continuing in this endeavor, I will raise a family focused on Christ and serving their Maker. Furthermore, as they learn to love Him, they will learn to love me as well. In turn, we will nurture and continually develop lasting relationships that are rewarding and serve as an example of the Christ-centered home.

But, the issue remains-- I cannot earn an income by building a Christ-centered home. It will not provide my kids with stable source of food, heat, electricity, health insurance, or a vehicle. Nor can I rely on charitable giving from my friends, family, or neighboring churches, though these folks have been enormously blessed to me. In the US today, there are numerous ways to earn honest, stable incomes from home. I heard a statistic recently, from several sources, that one of every 6 Americans has some form of stay at home enterprise. I have not been able to ascertain the validity of this, but I am aware of the multitude of opportunities available. I encourage any man to assess his talents, or what he is willing to do, then research the internet, or the library for honorable enterprises. This can be done in your spare time (if you look hard enough, you'll find time, if even among the commercial breaks.) Not every home based opportunity requires you to start your own business or sell products or stuff envelopes or fill out surveys. Be aware of scams and get rich quick schemes as anyone may fall prey to them out of desperation. Direct inquiries to the Better Business Bureau, or consult consumer advocate/ watchdog groups. I assure you, there is an opportunity available for the man who desires to take this direction. God, Himself, has assured us that He is the Ultimate Provider. "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:23.

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