The Bible is very clear about certain responsibilities of men in regards to the role they must serve within their families. However, it is intentionally indistinct as to how those roles may be exemplified and fulfilled. Many believers have become accustomed to interpreting certain biblical passages in a way that is contently in alignment with socio-historical perspectives and expectations of men. As a stay at home father, I have wrestled with these expectations and expanded my understanding of Scripture in a way that has been spiritually significant.

Ephesians 5:22-28
The entire issue of submission is in constant query, especially since women have established themselves as skilled, valuable, and active members of society, government, education, and business. When a man decides to stay at home to focus on his family, it seems he has violated this paradigm of submission. However, as we read on, we see that a man must love his wife as Christ loved the Church and “present her to himself…. holy and blameless.� Furthermore, he is called to “give himself up for her,� just as Christ gave Himself up for the Church. Paul advises us to perform whatever is required to most effectively edify our wives and our families. Webster’s defines edify as “to instruct and improve spiritually esp. in moral and religious knowledge�. Archaic synonyms include “build� and “establish�, deriving from a Latin word meaning “to erect a house or temple.� This is the true purpose God has given us as husbands and fathers: lovingly and diligently construct and develop our families in ways that bring them closer to Christ, causing them to shine radiantly, “without stain or wrinkle, or any other blemish.� It is to this end that wives must submit to their husbands.

Matthew 10:37-38
We are called to do these things not out of blind fear or faith. Rather, as constantly searching men of God, we are attempting to follow closer to Jesus- out of love for Him. Jesus delivered some harsh words for us to consider in regards to following Him: “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.� Our motivation in the endeavor to edify our families should be Christ, rather than our families. The focus is clearly on providing spiritual security in Heaven as opposed to financial security on earth. “Where your heart is there your treasure will be also.� (Matt. 6:21) Therefore, seek Christ first and follow Him in a way that guides your construction of your family.

Romans 8:14-15, 12:1-3
We follow Jesus closer by putting to death our sinful ways and living by the Spirit. We must offer up our lives as living sacrifices, no longer living slaves to fear- the fear of pressure, success, social status, or continued financial obligations. Paul warns us not to “think of yourselves more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.� I have seen many men who have amazing potential to raise extraordinary families, if they just had more time or did not have stressful careers. Sacrifice does not necessarily mean a lifetime dedicated to “work�. I debated for more than a year to become a stay at home dad, due to a career rationale. I then realized my career choice was exactly that- my choice. I was selfishly holding on to what I thought I was required to do. I felt there was no other option. The Lord softened my heart as I witnessed my children crave my nurturing attention, yet receive remnants of my weary energies. Men, consider the things of God and search your hearts. Find within you the faith to execute God’s purpose for your lives as husbands and fathers. I am not suggesting every man drop his profession and remain at home. Simply explore deeper your heart, your spirit, and discover that which God is requiring of you.

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