I CALL HIM FMS….

This past weekend, my wife and I were going to dinner talking about our dreams, hopes and desires. We just listened to Erwin McManus, as he described his new book “Chasing Daylight; an encouraging read that challenges you to live for the moment and make your life an adventure. It was upon this setting that we met him. Or at least realized his looming presence. In all reality I think he has been an acquaintance of mine since I graduated college.

My wife sat there, with twinkling eyes speaking about Africa. Speaking about how she wishes she could just quit her job and move to Africa to take care of the needy children. I engaged in the idea as we thought about how we could take this somewhat comfortable life and change it into a journey that lived on the edge. “Smack, he hit me across the face, his giant hand took my dream and slammed it into the concrete….he whispered….college bills, mortgage payment, insurance, retirement, kids…I quickly crept into a daze as I tore off pieces of bread and stared at the salt and pepper shaker. I thought to myself, “If only I could have been the guy that invented salt and pepper….then I could have enough money to be free and serve the world. Soon he takes over my words… “We need to be realistic; we can go for a 5-7 day trip next year if we can save enough money. She rolls her eyes and the battle begins. “Why can’t you just trust God? “We just need to drop everything and go, God will take care of us. “ We have such different faiths, she says. This is true but it’s not the whole story. I wish I could just take the plunge, I wish I could just let go, but for some reason someone, something is always getting in the way.
I call him FMS…FINANCIAL MAN SYNDROME. After all these years I could finally conceptualize this feeling. Just as my wife has natural hormone changes that effect her moods every once in a while (like 4 days starting the 17th of every month to be exact), God also put a natural gene in men that I like to call the “Provider and Protector gene. And FMS is what this gene uses to fight the battles. FMS rears up every time there is a financial conflict. Every time he wonders if responsibilities are going to be taken care of, are bills going to be paid, if this decision is made, will we survive. He is a necessary evil. He is neither good nor bad, but if you don’t learn to manage him, you will live a life controlled by worry and your trust will lie in your own intelligence, discipline and skills instead of the heavenly provider.

“Why are you always like this? My wife muttered as she felt I was being a careful, predictable dream crusher. “Don’t you want to live recklessly sometimes? It was at this very instant that the revelation took place and I had the pleasure of introducing her to FMS. “Do you think this is fun? I said as I could hear my dad echoing the same words in my distant past. “Do you think I have always been like this? No, just a few years ago in college I was the freewheeling, money spending rebel that lived everyday without a care in the world. It’s not me…I want to live on the edge; I want to drop everything but its different now. FMS was whispering words into my ear at this point…we have responsibilities, we have a house that we own, a dog, a cat, you just bought a horse for crying out loud! Someone has to pay for all this; someone has to make sure we don’t go bankrupt! And although I trust God, I also believe he wants me to be a good steward and protect my family! It’s not me, I yelled, “It’s…its FMS, get mad at him. “He does it, he ruins all the fun, he crushes the dream. “You have to meet him because I wish I could be just like you but I have this pest that keeps holding me down. He keeps reminding me…be realistic. She stopped with a confused look on her face….FMS? Yes, I said, at the core I am a risk-taker but for some reason in the last few years you don’t just get me…you get FMS (Financial Man Syndrome). At first, she thought I was crazy, talking about split personalities and such. But then she began to get it. Being a wise woman of God, she knows that God created me with instincts and abilities to provide, protect and manage. She knows that these characteristics are an important piece of the family unit. And now she gets it…don’t get me wrong, we still have to hold FMS at bay every once in awhile when he speaks out of turn but for the most part the three of us are getting along just fine and on a very odd level my wife better understands me.

How about you? I know you have a little FMS at times. I know you have dreams of living on the edge but something is holding you back, something is just always being realistic right? The question is, how do we manage FMS in a positive way? How do we take the right risks when God wants us to and tell our protective minds to back off and let God take control? Just like everything in life, balance is the key.

There are going to be times when you have to listen to FMS and live a common, discipline life, as you save and take care of your responsibilities. But you can’t forget about the other side of the coin. There will be times when God asks to do something more than you can imagine. He may ask you to give $5000 when your bank account balance reads $2000. He may ask you to sell your reliable jetta for something cheaper, so that you may be able to buy someone their first car when they can’t afford it. He may ask you to quit your job and trust him with a move into ministry. If you know God is moving, and has asked you to follow him…you better be able to shut FMS up on a moment notice, and be ready to serve.

Men, be proud of the way God made you. Use your skills to guide your family, keep your finances in check and save for the future. But never forget that God made you head of your household for another reason as well. You are to build a kingdom legacy for your family as well and you are called to serve God above all money. Keep your ears listening to God’s direction, because the actions he calls you to do will often be unconventional, and against society norms. If you keep this balance, your life will be a fruitful adventure and you will not only win the respect of your bride but also help influence this generation to stop watching and start living!

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