Women want to be romanced, elevated, reassured, loved, and cherished. They want a man of class and discretion, a man of polish, finesse, social grace, a refined man of taste and conviction. They want and need the constant reassurance that only comes from a true gentleman, a man who is loving, thoughtful, sensitive, caring, generous, considerate, mannerly, mature, and honorable. They also want to be protected and rescued at times.

The man who is a knight first and at the same time is a good listener has a far better chance at being able to satisfy all of these needs. Women want a strong yet sensitive and intelligent man, a man who exhibits strength and wisdom while remaining vulnerable and able to share his thoughts and feelings with her. If a man can be both physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual and possess all of these traits in sincerity, he is every woman’s dream! A man who does not practice chivalrous, knightly principles is highly unlikely to offer his lady such a balance of strengths, for he is not truly enlightened as to his own masculine nature.

We can attain to the balance of strength, emotional intelligence, and intellectual intimacy suggested above but, as with anything good, it will take some time and effort. The adoption of a chivalrous code that can guide our behavior will bring us closer to what we actually desire for ourselves with women but are too afraid to admit, either to ourselves or to other men. That is, to have an intimate relationship with a woman in which we feel safe and in which we won’t be there either to exploit or, conversely, to be exploited ourselves. While men and women are indeed different in many ways, we do share a common bond: we both need and want someone in our lives who loves us, cares for us, and cares about us, and who both respects and admires us.

A true lady loves a chivalrous man. A man who adopts the “Code of Chivalryâ€? in his everyday life is better-equipped to attain the ability to love and cherish another and to be loved himself, also. A chivalrous man has the potential to be regarded as a sexy, desirable, enticing, alluring manâ€"for a man who thinks, speaks, and lives in this caring and honorable way is a rarity among men. He is strong and decisive, smart yet sensitiveâ€"a “finishedâ€? diamond, a precious gem that other women have somehow foolishly overlooked. A man with this combination of strength and humble vulnerability is a man who can be reached, who has the potential to be whatever he wishes to be and is a wondrous lifetime companion.

Add to this the fact that the chivalrous man lives his life according to God’s law and in search of God’s truth and his own Salvation, and the man-knight becomes a priceless life-mate. As one in Christ, he and his lady can work together to build a Christ-centered home and work towards their mutual eternal Salvation. And maybe, just maybe, men might not be so different from women in the things that matter most…if indeed we manifest the values and behaviors of chivalrous knights.

Chivalrous Behavior for Today’s Knight

Adopting a Sir Walter Raleigh mentality, ask yourself these key questions: Do you open the car door for your lady? The door to the restaurant? Do you lay your cape in the road
so that she doesn’t have to step in the mud? Do you seat her in the restaurant, rising from your chair and extending your hand to help her up as she excuses herself to the ladies’ room? Why not? The chivalrous knight would do these things, and much more. It’s a demonstration of love toward, pride in, and respect for herâ€"and of your own pride in being with her, for she is special in your life.

A. Treat Her as the Queen She Is…

Do you acknowledge her with bouquets, poems, love letters, and other gifts on no designated date, while always remembering her birthday, your anniversary, and other special dates? Do you hold her hand as you walk together, never walking ahead of her (which demonstrates a lack of respect)? Do you elevate her, making her feel special every minute of the day? Do you continually reinforce your love for her and your undying commitment to your love? A chivalrous knight does all this and much more.

B. Open Doors

Open her doors, any and every doorâ€"always. It demonstrates knightly respect for her and for yourself, for you are a gentleman, and no gentleman would be caught dead behaving in any other way.

C. Compliment Her

Do you tell your lady that you like her new hairstyle (because you really do)? Do you regularly tell her how pretty she is and how beautiful she looks today? Do you tell her that she smells captivating, even when she isn’t wearing perfume? Do you tell her that you like her new outfit? Do you compliment her shoes? Do you tell her that you love her very much and that she means everything to you? Do you tell her that you are proud of her and her hard work, her career, and how well she takes care of you and your children?

The chivalrous knight would do this and much more.

D. How to Seat Your Lady

Seating your lady is a fundamental gesture of the gentleman and knight. When seating your lady, allow her to reach the side of the chair, then pull the chair slowly and gently back about two feet. Allow her to approach the side of the table and ease the chair behind her as she sits. Remain there after she is initially seated, then offer to ease the chair forward as she may need to adjust her seating. Then you may sit. The knight never seats himself before his lady is seated.

E. Random Acts of Kindness

What can you do around the home to show your lady that you love her? Take out the garbage? Move the furniture that she wants put in another room or reconfigured? Buying her a special gift that is unexpected, even a minor thing, is a thoughtful gesture. Even sending her a Hallmark® card or an emailâ€"something to reinforce that you love herâ€"can create one of the most precious memories that she will ever have and is the trademark of a true knight.

F. Being Considerate and Loving

Constantly reinforce your love for your ladyâ€"from the softest touch and gesture to hugging and embracing her, to your actions of love and caring, both at home, away from home, and in everything you do. The chivalrous man is also a passionate, considerate, thoughtful lover, and he places his lady’s physical pleasure and satisfaction above his own, for that is what brings him his greatest pleasure. Frequent nonverbal glances of appreciation, frequent and loving statements of love and affection, as well as what she means to you in your life, all reassure her that she is cherished and secure in your love.

G. Overt Demonstrations of Love

Show her you love her and that you are proud of her in public as well as in private settings; tastefully, of course. Holding hands, kissing appropriately yet with passion and affection, tell her that she is the lady of your life. Overt demonstrations of love may also include arranging for special surprise events, such as a surprise birthday or anniversary party, the giving of a special gift that she has always wanted, or the gift of an unexpected luncheon date with youâ€"the opportunities and methods of expression are endless. The chivalrous knight is both expressive, and ingenious!

The chapters that follow will provide more thoughts and ideas for the would-be chivalrous knight. My fundamental objective here is to suggest to today’s open-minded, moral man a new way of thinking and living. As I’ve seen in my own and others’ lives, embracing the knight’s code can empower men to think, speak, and behave in the spirit of those gentlemen of impeccable character who have come and gone before usâ€"men of honor, commitment, duty, courtesy, and selflessness. Their example, and their moral code, has much to offer modern-day, would-be knights and all who seek to transform their lives through the godly tenets of knightly virtue in daily living while dedicating themselves to the glory of God and to genuinely loving the women He has placed in our lives.

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