Does the very idea of chivalry seem outdated and irrelevant to your life today? Quite the contrary. Many if not all of the principles of the knightly “Code of Chivalry� are as relevant for men today as they were centuries ago. We’ve simply forgotten them; or, more alarmingly, we may have misplaced their meaning and import in our own lives. For today’s twenty-first century man, with the pressures our society places upon us, it is not only desirable that we aspire to live as those knights who came before us, but it is our duty as men, and more importantly, as godly men, to recover and reestablish the virtues and behaviors so essential to creating quality of life.

It seems to me that all men have the potential of being men of honor. God, in creating man in His likeness, placed that intrinsic possibility deep in the fabric of our souls. We need only to release it, both to God’s glory and to the betterment of our own lives. We need only to allow what we already know as right to resume its rightful priority in our hearts and permit it to serve as a guidepost and a beacon in our everyday lives. Chivalry can help us to do this. How?

Chivalry in the Twenty-First Century

Chivalry in the twenty-first century is certainly in mortal peril, but it is far from dead. While a majority of men may have little understanding or appreciation of chivalry, there are still many of us, a dying breed of chivalrous knights, perhaps, who occupy seats at the round table and hold firm and fast to the ideals of our fellow knights of a bygone era. And while we do not fight our battles from atop our mounts in a field of battle, we do battle every day in striving to succeed in a business world laden with financial, moral, economic, social, sexual, and political pressures and challenges.

Let me say first of all that this book is in no way intended as a means of demeaning men. On the contrary; as a man, I am merely attempting to point out the wondrous power and potential we men have at our disposal should we choose to tap into it. While it is indeed true that many men can be Neanderthals in their behaviors and mindsetsâ€"selfish, self-centered, boorish, self-absorbed “jerksâ€? who think predominately with certain of their extremities, far more of us are closet romanticsâ€"decent, moral, just men who have the very best of intentions, yet may simply have been sidetracked by misguided notions and the pressures of daily life.

Let me submit to you that the devil, Ol’ Satan himself, doesn’t want us to be chivalrous because he loses ground with us, or, more accurately, he loses us entirely to God when that happens. When we become chivalrous, we become good (disciplined, honest, respectful, kind), leaving a diminished potential for corruption by the evil one, his forces, and his influences. The further away we are from evil, are we not moving ever closer towards God, God’s laws, and His grand design? Even so, chivalry and the core set of behaviors it advocates can be seen as inherently good for men.

Maybe, too, we men have been somewhat misinformed about what and who we are and what and who we should be by our families, society, our culture, the media, and the evil one, who works through all, innocent in their intent or not. The orientation we all received over the past two to three generations has been consistent with Old Guard guidelines but with a slightly different twist, gentlemen. It goes something like this: work hard, make money, be a success â€" accomplishing that success at any cost.
What resulted, despite the very best of intentions of our families in most cases, was indoctrination into values that taught us that our only focus was to be on obtaining “successâ€? in economic terms, with little regard to becoming successful as godly men. In the process of living our lives, some, perhaps many (but not all) of us have lost ourselves and our own dreams and goals, possibly while hurting others, including the women in our lives whom we sincerely wanted to nurture and protectâ€"those women who could have been in our lives and supported us in living the exciting, spiritually uplifting lives we all dream about and who may have become an indispensable part of us if only we had seen the light!

Have you missed the mark with a faire lady in this manner? Maybe, if you’re honest, you’d have to ‘fess up to living some seasons of your life as a decidedly ill-mannered, ungodly man. Not to worry; there’s still time to make amends and capture a damsel’s heart. Adapting your approach and practicing knightly behaviors may well be the portal to a different and deeply rewarding life for you.

The twenty-first century is and will increasingly become a tough place for all of us. It’s even harder to be chivalrous men, let alone godly men, when everything we see and hear around us seems to suggest that to be a chivalrous man is to be a fool or a chump. Rather, we’re taught by very astute representatives in media and in governmentâ€"through a myriad of messagesâ€" to believe that it’s perfectly acceptable, even cool, to be stoic, ruthless, transparent users of others, especially women (Have you happened to catch a hip hop or rap video lately?), to be indifferent to women, to use them for what we can get, to take advantage of or to steal from others before they steal from us, with the main emphasis being upon the size of your bankroll. And we wonder
what’s wrong with us?

It seems we’re being “carpet-bombed,� totally and incessantly inundated with the wrong
core messages about how to live as men. We see very little around us that would even suggest that a desirable alternative might be to revert back to earlier times, to what may just have been a more honorable way of living.

Today’s society is a world of being electronically connected, and a world that actually discourages interpersonal connectivity or true intimacy. With all of our cell phones, palm pilots, iPods, internet and email connections, we’re actually discouraged from intimate, one-on-one communication and contact and sincere, personal communication, which is the only truly meaningful communication. While we may talk, we may not be talking about the right things. As well, some men by nature find it difficult to communicate openly in an intimate setting, which places us at even more odds with the lady in our lives because she, and her gender, embodies the essence of interpersonal communication skills.

We men of the twenty-first century should endeavor to understand what it means to be a true knightâ€"sensitive, caring, compassionate, considerate, empathetic, a good listener, and emotionally available, exhibiting a quiet strength. The man who adopts and executes the principles found in the “Code of Chivalryâ€? can become an exception to the rule, a true romantic knight in a world of electronic vassals.

Check out Part 2 in issue 45

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