We all know that our spiritual lives are ultimately much more important than the material “stuff� we acquire every day. The inches on our television sets or the number of cars we own will not determine our place in God’s kingdom.

In a relationship, however, the material can sometimes reflect our attitude and respect towards our Significant Other (SO). A gift can represent honor to your SO â€" that you care enough to get her something that will brighten her day, and help her make feel special.

My husband is a great gift-giver. The gifts are not always big (flowers when I was sick or a brownie and a love letter waiting in my car after I got out of work), but they are always thought-filled. Although I believe that God has blessed him with a special talent for giving great presents, I think that we all can be taught to be better gift-givers.

Here are a few ideas to increase your gift-giving skills:

Plan Ahead

Waiting to buy a gift at the last minute is rarely a good idea. It’s human nature to go into panic mode at the last minute, and run for the most convenient store. (And if a convenience store is the only store open, you may be in big trouble.) Keep special dates on your calendar, with a reminder a few weeks earlier to buy or plan a gift. It’s especially important to plan ahead when buying from the internet, as express shipping charges can cause you to take a second mortgage out on the house.

Ask Her

It’s not cheating if you ask your SO for a list. Really. Even if you don’t get her something from that list, you have some great ideas to work from.

Know Your SO

A signed Brett Favre football is not a good gift choice for someone who hates football. Ditto the thoughtful gift of flowers to someone who is terribly allergic. Think about what your SO really enjoys doing â€" watching old movies on TV, cooking, reading, the ancient art of Japenese paperfolding (aka origami). Gear a gift towards her hobbies. One year my husband got me a large gift basket filled with gardening items â€" a book on planting, a few gardening tools, gardening gloves, and seeds â€" all wrapped up in pretty red cellophane. I knew he had won it an auction, but I didn’t really care that he didn’t buy them all himself. He knows me, and what I like.

Spend within your means

Don’t spend so much on a gift that you can’t pay the phone bill that month. Remember that more does not equal better â€" sometimes a single rose with a hand written note is the perfect (and inexpensive) gift for the occasion. If you’re truly unsure about how much to spend, ask your SO. Set dollar limits, especially at Christmas time when spending can get out of control quickly.

Put some thought behind it

Gift giving is a great time to think about your SO. What do you love about her? How does she enhance your life, and the life of your family? How does she show God’s love? Jot a few thoughts down on a card, and I bet her heart will be touched in a special way.

Now, for the nitty-gritty. Listed below are ten gift ideas for your SO.

1. Spark your creativity

Try an on-line service to help you find that special gift -- www.findgift.com asks you for gift specs (who the gift is for/age/occasion), and gives you ideas for that person. Surprise her with gifts such as the “Magic I love you beanâ€?, a Romantic Message in a Bottle, or a glass bottle filled with Daily Reminders of My Love. Instead of buying, try making your own creations â€" write down twenty reasons what you love about her and place them in a special container. Write her a love letter, roll it up, and attach to a single red rose with a ribbon in her favorite color.

2. Picnic Basket

My husband and I received this thoughtful gift for our wedding, and it has really withstood the test of time. It’s a simple basket that reminds us to spend time together in the outdoors, without the distractions that always appear at dinner time at home. You can get small or large baskets, including several models that are backpacks. Try www.amazon.com or a local department store. Write a personal note and attach to the basket, promising many future picnics together.

3. Time

With today’s busy schedules, it’s more important than ever to realize that relationships take time to flourish and grow. Set aside an afternoon (or night or day), and declare it your SO’s “birthday timeâ€? (fill in the special occasion such as anniversary, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, or it’s just a Wednesday). Do everything possible to make her feel loved â€" call ahead to restaurants to have them sing during dessert, find a new café that she would really enjoy and give her a special gift over coffee, go to a stock race (if she likes that sort of thing). Make coupons for things to do, and have her pick what she’d like.

4. Personalized Gifts

Technology is truly amazing. Walk on over to your local photo center and get a mousepad, calendar, t-shirt, coffee mug, or postcards emblazoned with your favorite photos. Many photo centers allow you to insert text onto your photos â€" type in a personal message such as “I love youâ€? or “You are truly an amazing personâ€?. Stores such as Things Remembered will personalize a wide variety of merchandize, including blankets, jewelry, and trinket boxes.

5. Photo Album

Buy a photo album that has significance for her, such as flowers for a gardener, Winnie the Pooh for a Disney lover, one with a favorite scripture verse. Begin to put photos in, and write her a note that you hope that you have many more memories together to fill the album.

6. Cook a Meal

This is an especially touching gift if your SO normally does most of the cooking. If you’re a novice chef, skip the rack of lamb and try something easier like steaks on the grill. Have your SO sit while you cook and do dishes.
7. Let Her Sleep In

A friend of mine had eight siblings. Every mother’s day, her dad would take the kids out and let mom sleep in for a few hours. Again, you need to know your SO here. If you know she would be really lonely in an empty house, don’t abandon her.

8. Fun Stuff

Pop over to the toy store and get her a toy from her youth â€" barrel of monkeys, Trouble, card games, a puzzle. Something with special significance to her, or both of you. Ask her siblings or parents for ideas.

9. “Traditional� Gifts

When I was a kid, my dad bought my mom a plastic rose for Valentine’s day one year. He would faithfully bring it out, year after year, to our great amusement. In his defense, he would always get her a card and something else. If you do opt for a traditional gift, give a lot of thought about your choice and make it a fun tradition.

Gift Certificates
Give the gift that she can pick out herself. Most stores carry certificates, even on-line companies. Wrap the certificate in a pretty box or a gift bag to make it special. I wouldn’t suggest this option too often, since it doesn’t require a huge amount of creativity. Popular choices include bookstores, spas, clothing stores.

Flowers
Traditional? Yes. Too boring? Maybe. When our daughter was born, my spouse bought the two of us a beautiful flower arrangement for the hospital, addressed to “his two special gals.â€? It brightened the sterile hospital room, especially during the long nights. Pick out individual flowers at a floral shop, and assign meaning to each one â€" a yellow carnation for her sunny disposition, a red rose to symbolize your love for each other, a purple flower as a sign of Jesus’ royalty.

Jewelry
Another classic. Use your judgment with regard to price, fashion, and appropriateness. One husband I know buys his wife a piece of jewelry with her favorite gem stone every Christmas, taking a lot of time to research and select the perfect piece for his wife. If you’re not sure about your judgment, ask a trusted friend or family member. You can ask the nice lady behind the jewelry counter, but she might encourage you to spend way too much.

Candy
Then the two of you can share.

10. Lastly____(fill in the blank)______. Be creative as you think about what your SO means to you. No-one, absolutely no-one (except God, of course) knows your SO like you do. You have unique experiences with each other. For our first anniversary, I brought out our wedding cake from the freezer (can you say freezer burned?), and laid out an assortment of matches from all our honeymoon destination spots to light candles for our dinner. During one date afternoon (we’d been married 14 years), my husband had me close my eyes, and he drove to an surprise destination â€" a charming café on the outskirts of town. As we ate and shared meaningful conversation without the normal distractions of our daily lives, I was reminded that it’s not just the “stuffâ€? in our lives that make a gift â€" it’s the thought behind them.

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