Have you ever asked your girlfriend or wife “What’s wrong?� and the answer was “I’m fine,� or “Don’t worry about it.� Has a woman ever been mad at you for at least 24 hours, but you could not figure out what you did wrong? Has your significant other ever cried on your shoulder, but she couldn’t tell you exactly why she was crying? Have you been in your relationship long enough that you spend time together, yet don’t enjoy each other’s company like you used to? Do you wish there were a few things you could do to improve your relationship? Well, you are not alone. Let’s be honest guys, relationships are tough, and we ladies are complicated. So even if you see that improvements could be made in your interaction, it is probably difficult to know exactly what you can do. But relationships take work (despite what you may hear) and sometimes we have to make a decision to try and make things better. So here are some down-to-earth, black-and-white suggestions that can really improve your relationship. With just a little effort, you’ll be surprised at the difference you can make!

1) Sometimes a nice gesture or small conversation can make all the difference in a woman’s day. Try this â€" pick one nice thing and do it a couple times a week for a month or so. For example, ask her how her day has been, give her a hug when you see her for the first time that day, or call her during the day just to ask how she is doing. Showing that you care is very important to most ladies. Often men tend to think that when we want attention, we mean an expensive dinner or evening out. But sometimes the simplest gestures are the ones that mean the most to us!

2) Be an active listener. Guys, I know that sometimes listening to us is hard, but females know when they are being listened to and understood. If your girlfriend or wife is talking about her bad day or how someone upset her, try to take part in the conversation by listening and asking questions. Believe me, she will notice your interest and it will help to reinforce her trust in you.

3) Pray together. This one should go without saying, but sometimes it is neglected along with other elements lost in the daily grind of work and such. Praying is not only necessary to feed your relationship with God, but with your significant other as well. When praying together about the relationship, often we express needs and feelings to God that it is difficult to express directly to each other. It is surprising the intimacy and closeness that results from being on your knees together, so prayer should always be sustained as a major part of your relationship.

4) Have a “date night.� This is a great way to rekindle the “puppy love� feeling that most couples lose after being in a relationship for a while. So many times we start spending time with our partner out of habit, and we stop really interacting with each other. So talk with your significant other and decide on a day that both of you are typically free. Then once a week or every few weeks, get ready and go out together, just like you did when you first started dating.

5) Every so often my boyfriend will ask me “So, how are we doing?� Such a simple question, yet it means so much. Asking your girlfriend or spouse this question regarding the progress and stability of your relationship can not only come across as a very sweet gesture, but it also serves as a spring board into constructive conversation. Typically couples only discuss their relationship if there is a problem, often caused by only one person. This question will allow you to talk about the relationship from a united perspective; so instead of arguing and saying “You need to work on listening to me better,� you will be able to say “We need to work on listening to each other better.�

6) Turn your complaints into requests. So often we get into arguments and when we finally admit our issue with the other person, it comes out in the form of an accusation. So instead of saying “You are never on time when we go anywhere,� try saying, “Could you please try harder to be on time?�

7) Be spontaneous. No matter how much we refuse to admit it, most ladies dream of the romantic spontaneity of the typical chick-flick. Now granted, this is a fairy-tale type perspective, and we should not expect it from real life. However, I would be wrong if I didn’t tell you that a random slow-dance under the stars will put that sparkle back in her eyes!

8) “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you.� (John 13:34) This commandment is meant to take precedence in all of our relationships, but never is it more important than in our relationship with our spouse or future spouse. The question is, what does it mean to love someone as Christ loves us? His love is unconditional and unwavering. So many times we focus so much on changing and molding our partner into who we want them to be, that we forget two very important things: we should focus more on being who we should be than trying to change our partner into who we think they should be; and God called us to love all people unconditionally, especially our partner in life.

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