In the third segment of this series, we will look at the most crucial way that Jesus shows love to His church and what is missing in our homes. A lack of teaching in this area has led to the spiritual destruction in our homes today.

One of the main ways that Jesus shows His love to the church is by guiding the church in the right direction…straight to the throne of God. By guiding our families away from trouble or danger and guiding them into holy fulfillment and life, we show our wives that we care about them wholly. It is when we are guiding them in a Godly fashion that they will more easily become who they are called to be as a wife. Too many times in too many homes, women have to be the wife, the mother and primary care-giver, and the spiritual leader of the home. This leaves our wives feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, ready to crumble under all that pressure.

So, how do we properly lead our wives in a spiritual sense? Too many times, men feel like they can use this calling and the earlier verses in Ephesians that say “wives submit to your husbands� as a means to coerce their wives into sex whenever the man wants it. Men, this calling is not something that allows you to manipulate your wife in this manner to get what you want. This call, to be the spiritual leader, is a responsibility and is one that cannot be taken lightly or for selfish gain.

So, what constitutes leading the family spiritually? How do we do it properly? Here are a couple of ways to properly lead the family spiritually and show her the love that Christ has for His Church through His leadership.

1 â€" Family Time in the Word and in prayer
To keep yourself and your wife headed in the same direction toward the Lord, time must be set aside for a Bible Study and for prayer together, where, as a couple, you seek the will of God together. If you start doing this before you have children, it will be easier for the children as they will be in the habit of these times from birth. At first, it may be a little uncomfortable, but in time, you will see how God is blessing this time in your day. Start out simple with a five to ten minute devotional once a week and then gradually increase the time to a half-hour or even an hour discussing and reading the Word of God. With children, the time will not be as long, but will still be rewarding as you instill the principles and Word of the Lord in their hearts. Also, daily prayer time, especially in the morning, is a good way to keep you and your wife focused on the will of God.

2 â€" Making decisions with an eye toward the spiritual implications
Most decisions we make have spiritual implications, no matter how small the decision may seem. A good spiritual leader will look for the spiritual implications and make wise decisions, never compromising the faith foundation of the home and relationship. From the movies you go and see, music you listen to, books you read, to the television programming you allow in your home, you must make the decision as to how these things can spiritually affect you and your wife’s relationship with the Lord. Also, decisions about church attendance must be made as well. You have to set the example and go when there are services, rather than leading your wife into a one service a week spirituality that is not deepening your faith or hers. Realize the importance and need for fellowship with other believers and the need for worship and teaching. In the financial realm, you must look at how the family spends money and whether you are being good stewards of what God has given you. Will you cut back on your tithes to afford luxury items? This is just an example of the questions that you have to ask yourself and decisions that you will have to face. As spiritual leaders, Jesus leads us to see the spiritual implications of the choices we make and we have to make sound decisions for our wives and ourselves.

3 â€" Make your actions speak as loud as your words
If you want to be the spiritual leader of the family, as you are called to be, you must act like one too. Telling your wife that she doesn’t need to look at certain types of television programming while you stare at every woman that walks by isn’t going to cut it. Jesus had the actions to go along with the words. His actions were above reproach. If you insist on cussing your wife out when you are mad at her, forget her ever seeing you as the spiritual leader. Be a man who looks for the Lord in your own life and is seeking His will in your own life before trying to lead your wife and family in this manner.

4 â€" Understand that this leadership is an act of service, not a position of power
As men, we become intoxicated with power and if we take this out of context, we can come across as dogmatic and condescending. We are not called to be Pharisees; we are instead called to act like Christ. You can’t force faith, or acts of faith on anyone, but through an attitude of service, your wife will embrace your spiritual leadership in the family and support you. Understand that you are serving your wife in this area and are not to be authoritative over her. God will bless your spiritual leadership if you are following His plan and leading with a servant’s heart and attitude.

The truest love a woman can feel is the love of Christ, for Christ’s love is unconditional. By serving her as the spiritual leader of the home and relationship, she will see Christ in you and feel loved like never before. After becoming the spiritual leader, you will begin to see her through the eyes of Christ and love her deeper than you ever thought possible.

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