You a dude? Single? Got the gift of celibacy? I’ll bet not. Of all the people I know, I have one friend who is a genuine candidate. One, in hundreds. I’m also one of the few men my age I know getting married. I’m 25, and I’m slow. When it comes to manhood, my whole generation is slow. Too many men are choosing to remain single because it’s easier, not because it’s their God-given gift. I’m slow in the sense that I didn’t grow to manhood until after my teens. I see a church full of boys that are slowly waking up to the fact that this is unacceptable and responsible for many of the problems in the Church.

God’s plan for men is not an adolescence that stretches ‘till 30. I’m not even sure adolescence is a necessary division in human developmentâ€"it has justified an entire generation of boys behaving like boys long after they should have been challenged to manhood. If I was Jewish, I’d have become a man at 13. How many of us had ANY significant responsibility at 13? How many of us are 20+ and still take laundry home? How many of us are still in debt, let alone financially independent? How many of us, born from 1975 to 1985 have graduated college but have no life of our own? Why isn’t there a new generation of leaders emerging?

There’s a world of tired and frustrated single Christian women out there. They’re frustrated the only men who have the balls to ask them out are creeps. They’re tired of waiting and have decided to get on with heir lives, going (back) to school, serving overseas and climbing the career ladder. It’s your job to marry them unless God has gifted you otherwise. We were designed for marriage from the beginning.

Genesis tells us it is not good for man to be alone. Evidence of this is all around us. Single guys need help. Before I met my fiancé, my idea of business casual was wearing the same polo shirt I just finished flag football in, only tucked in. Before I met my fiancé, I owned one hideous tie. Now I own three, all of which look pretty ok. I have a vested interest in showering and shaving on a regular basis that I didn’t have before. We are better because of our women. Every happily married man I know gladly affirms this. It seems clear to me that men need women.

What women don’t need is a slacker. That’s why it’s important for you to understand that I’m not challenging you to marry the next woman you see. I’m challenging you to become a man worth marrying. This is otherwise known as getting your stuff together. Take an inventory of your life and ask a few hard questions like:
• Who am I? Where does my identity come from?
• Where am I in bondage to sin?
• Who will help me fight for and maintain my freedom?
• Where am I going in life? Do I have a plan?
Only when the above questions are answered do we have ANY business with pursuing a woman. They know quality when they see it, and their intuitive nature will let them know if you are a solid man or still a little boy in a big body. Don’t waste her time. Once you’re started on your way with answering these questions you can consider what you want in a wife. As that picture becomes sharper in your mind the confidence and boldness (and brokenness and service) that is a man of God will mark your pursuit of your wife.

A guy who knows who he is and knows what he wants doesn’t waste any time. Within a few dates (or sooner, hopefully) it becomes clear whether she is who’ve you’ve been looking for. It’s amazing how fast God can put the pieces together for us.

It won’t be easy and you won’t ever really know if you’ve arrived. There will always be growth and there will always be questions. I’m encouraging you to man up and take a little responsibility. You won’t know it all but this is a good first step. Find a man who you admire and be friends. Do guy stuff. And learn. Admit that three roommates, an HD TV and an X-box 360 aren’t as good as it gets.

Love Jesus, work hard and find a man who can teach you how to do both. That’s the road to marriage.

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