Eye Exam
Is the apple of your eye forbidden fruit?

I recently took part in the wedding ceremony of two friends of mine. I noticed the way that the two seemed so happy and how they truly are meant to be together. The wedding was beautiful and everything went perfectly as I feel sure that their marriage will as well.
As we went through the rehearsals, pictures, ceremony, and the reception, I noticed how his eyes were locked on her, seemingly unable to peel them away from the one that would be by his side forever. His vision was clear as he had found the one that he had been looking for.

As single guys, we have to continuously check our vision as we look for our bride. We have to be careful in the search to make sure that we are not looking in the wrong direction or at the wrong type of females. We have to be absolutely sure that the apple of our eye is not a forbidden fruit, leading us to a place that we cannot return from.

Here is a simple, yet necessary, eye exam for you to take as you look for the one that you will spend the rest of your time with. Examine each person that you date and if she does not pass each line of the exam, turn your eyes onto another more qualified person who can truly complete your life.

Line 1 â€" S I N G L E
Is she taken already?

The first line of the test, one that seems the easiest to look at, is to find out if she is single or if she is dating someone or married. If she’s taken, she’s off limits and she’s not the one. This sounds so elementary, but get yourself in one compromising position and you will see that it is not as easy as it sounds. We are not called to save anyone from what may appear to be a bad marriage and we are never to present ourselves as a better option that the person that she is with. Our eyesight can be distorted when we feel like we need to help a woman who appears to be in a bad situation and again it can be distorted when a married woman shows interest in us. There is no loophole on this one…the Bible gives no wiggle room. Jesus said that if we look at a married woman with lust then we have already committed adultery. The first line of the exam simply spells the word single. If she does not meet this standard, you must find someone else to exam for marriage.

Line 2 â€" E Q U A L Y O K E
Is she a Christian?

After looking at her dating/marital status, you have to find out the status of her spirituality. Is she a Christian? How committed is she to her faith? Many people compromise in a marriage and in dating relationships when it comes to their partner’s spirituality. They are blinded by the outer appearance and fail to take the time to truly weigh the appearance of her heart. Many believe that their spouse will eventually give their life to Christ, convert from another religion, or become more committed to their faith in the future. The harsh reality is that, more often than not, the uncommitted or non-believer will drag the committed person down to a lower level of commitment to his/her faith. Make sure that the woman that you are pursuing is looking for the same commitment to faith that you are striving for.

Line 3 â€" C H A R A C T E R I S T I C S O F A G O O D W I F E
Is that someone who loves you for you?

Is the apple of your eye trustworthy? Is she concerned more about you or what you own? Does she like you for who you are or for what she can turn you in to? You may laugh at these questions, but they are ones that you need to open your eyes and take a look at. Many marriages struggle because the man continues to be who he started out being and the woman grows increasingly more and more irritated with the broken dream of how he was going to change after marriage. Look and see if she likes you for who you are. Trust is also a HUGE issue. A marriage that is originally constructed to last a lifetime will not survive without basic trust. She has to love you for who you are, not for what you can give her or what she can make you become. There is a special woman out there who will love you for who you are and that is the person that you have to find.

Line 4 â€" G O D L Y M O T H E R
Will she team with you to raise children of faith?

Ideas of parenting have gone to the toilet in the last fifteen years. Many parents spend more time arguing with one another about the punishment or expectations for their children than they do in the actual parenting of the child. Does this person feel the same way about disciplining a child that you do? How important of a role is the church to be in the life of the child? When the child can drive, does he/she have to go to church or does the teenage child have the right to choose? When looking for a wife, these things matter. Though they are often overlooked, this quality can be a turning point in a marriage as it consumes a large portion of the time you spend with your wife. Is the person you are involved with responsible and dependable? You have to look at the decisions and ideals of the person you are thinking of marrying and see that you agree on these issues so that your combined vision of raising children never becomes foggy and impossible to pass through.

Line 5 â€" B E S T F R I E N D
Is she the one that you want to share things with?

Your wife should be your best friend. The reason that we get married is so that we have someone to share things with and spend time with. Is this the woman that you cannot live without? Is this the woman that you can share things with and talk about things? Do you connect with her in a way that you have never experienced before? For a truly happy and successful marriage, your wife has to be your best friend. You cannot leave her out in the cold with the things going on in your life and you must want to share all the memorable things as well as the insignificant things with her above anyone else. She must want to share these times with you too. A best friend shares some common interest with you and you need to notice whether or not you and the woman that you are pursuing have things in common or are you polar opposites. Including her in your favorite past times and hobbies will help the woman to see how special she is and by her showing interest, it shows you that she loves you for who you are.

Take this exam and use it for your advantage. God gave us eyes to see where He is leading us. We have to be careful that our vision doesn’t get foggy and lead us down a path that God doesn’t intend for us to go. Make sure that your vision is perfect as you pick out a spouse to complete the plans that God has in store for your life. Without 20/20 vision, the apple of your eye may be a forbidden fruit that spoils the rest of your life.

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