Love Your Wife, Respect Your Husband:
A Checklist to Review with Your Spouse

Ephesians 5:33 “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.�

Everyone who is married knows that balance is an essential part of their relationship. Ephesians 5 outlines God’s desires for a strong relationship â€" He doesn’t expect either the husband or wife to do all the work to in the marriage. It’s a see-saw of love and respect, each partner balancing the other to create an equilibrium.

Instead of comparing with your spouse, as you try to determine just who is holding up their end of the see-saw, check out your own actions first. Are you making a strong effort to be loving towards your spouse? Below is a checklist to help you consider the ways you are loving your wife. Be specific, and be honest.

1. How did I love my wife today? Love can be expressed in grand ways (renting an airplane and writing her name in the sky), or more often in small acts (do a chore that she usually does, give her a flower, smile at her, tell her that she is appreciated). Loving doesn’t necessarily mean Romantic â€" something as simple as making her breakfast in the morning says “I truly care about youâ€?.

2. What can I do to be more loving towards my wife? You may have to step out of your comfort zone here, and just ask her. First, she will most likely be honored that you are asking her what she thinks. She will also probably give you some surprising ideas.

3. Am I really loving myself? God wants us to love ourselves, even with all our imperfections â€" He knows that we are works in progress. Loving ourselves means that we take care of our bodies, our minds, and our spiritual selves.

4. Have I appreciated her today? Sometimes we take our spouses for granted, and our thanks are few and far between. Thank her for dinner, for doing laundry, any of those tasks that she does on a routine basis. Send her an e-card, or even a card to home or work showing your appreciation for both the things she does and the person she is to you.

5. Pray for her, and your relationship. Our lives are filled to the brim with chaos, stress, and emergencies. Our spouses often find their way to the bottom of our prayer lists. For ideas and encouragement, try Stormie Omartian’s book “Power of a Praying Husband�. (Something to suggest for wives: “Power of a Praying Wife�.)

6. How the heck do we know what being “loving� is? Don’t check out your TV set or local movie theatre for that answer. Instead, check out some of these verses in the Bible: 1 Corinthians 13 (“Love is patient, love is kind…�), 1 John 3 (“.. let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth�), Romans 12 (“Love must be sincere.�) Dr. Leo Dr. Buscaglia has written a number of books that inspire thoughts and actions regarding love.

God wants our marriages to last, with both the husband and wife doing their part in the relationship. The see-saw of marriage will never be completely still â€" it is designed to be in continual motion. There will be days that you absolutely stink in showing your wife love. (And there will be days when she does exactly the same thing.) Take one day at a time, and practice the steps of love and respect. Practice won’t make us perfect, but it will make our marriages stronger.

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